Society

Society jokes

Government

    • A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is.

    When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.”

    “I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny.

    “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad.

    “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny, and went off to bed.

    In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother shit in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad fucking his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, "OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is fucking the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of shit!"

    Orphanage

    • There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"

  • 1

    • Difference

    • What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?

    Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...

  • 1

    • Orphan

    • I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.

    Now I can’t get it to shut up.

  • 0

    • Kid

    • Yesterday I had a party.

    I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

    I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

    Muslim

    • A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"

    And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"

  • 1

    • Orphan

    • When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,

    The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"

    The teacher replied, "Home."

    The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"

    Feminist

    • Why should a feminist never join the United Auto Workers, UAW?

    Because the only thing that a feminist would do in the United Auto Workers, UAW is lick pussy all day in the woman's restroom.

  • 1

    • Couple

    • A young couple gets banned from church.

    There were three couples, one elderly, one middle-aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.

    After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

    Then he asks the middle-aged couple the same question, "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

    Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.

    "We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."

    "I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"

    "We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."

  • 1