Society jokes
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
Black people are living proof we evolved from monkeys.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Memes
Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?
A: They get their shit packed the night before.
Being incest isn't that bad. I was fingering my sister, and I found my dad's old wedding ring. Winner winner!
A gay guy asked me for directions, so I told him to go straight.
What do you call an Asian man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist fuck!
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
Why do men have penises?
They gotta shut women up somehow.
How do you stop a rape victim from speaking out?
Marry her.
Two pedophiles meet each other. Then one asks if he wanted to trade "2 of 5" for "1 of 10?"
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
A Muslim enters a building...
Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.
What type of file do you need to turn a 14 centimeter hole into a 40 centimeter hole?
A pedophile.
What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?
I don't worship Jesus.
"Sweet victory" fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded!
Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls, and the NFL was one of them.
It's okay, you had socks on :)