Society jokes
I eat kids.
What do you call a person who wants to be punched a lot?
A clout chaser.
Search up "clout meaning" if you don't get it.
What do starving kids call Venetian blinds?
Bunk beds.
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
This isn't a joke; I just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
Teacher: Why did you throw paper airplanes at the twin sisters?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell 'em to clap until their parents come home.
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
What’s a similarity between a priest and McDonald’s?
They both shove their meat between 10 year old buns.
Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?
A: They get their shit packed the night before.
Being incest isn't that bad. I was fingering my sister, and I found my dad's old wedding ring. Winner winner!
A gay guy asked me for directions, so I told him to go straight.
What do you call an Asian man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist fuck!
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
Why do men have penises?
They gotta shut women up somehow.
How do you stop a rape victim from speaking out?
Marry her.
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
Two pedophiles meet each other. Then one asks if he wanted to trade "2 of 5" for "1 of 10?"