Society jokes

Children in the Twin Towers be like: "Look, Mum, it's a plane!"

Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?

On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!

An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.

He called them: “ASPERGER’S”

What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?

My donation to the orphanage :)

Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...

Welcome to Dave’s orphanage. You make it, we take it.

What do you call a best friend that smokes weed?

A pothead. Just because he's your friend, you don't have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?

What do you call an orphan home alone?

A family reunion.

We should stop being mean to orphans.

We should be cruel instead.

What do orphans go to church for?

So they can call someone "father."

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Gregg says to his friend, who is a girl, and says, "Hey, umm, do you, umm, want to do something?"

And the girl says, "Umm, sure, why not?"

Gregg says, "Well, then we have to go somewhere secretive."

The girl says, "Umm, well, ok."

Gregg says, "Great!" So Gregg brings Sally to a tree so no one can see them, and then Sally says, "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?"

Gregg says, "Well pull down your pants, and I'll show ya."

Sally says, "Ok, it sounds fun!" And then Gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground. Then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy, and he goes up and down, up and down, up and down, and then Sally starts to moan more and more, and then suddenly a teacher hears her moan, and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing, and then the teacher gets in on it, and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher, and then the teacher moans, and then the whole school makes their own sex groups, and the whole school has threesomes...

THE END

A man gets captured by cannibals.

Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."

Why do orphans like emos?

Reverse "emo" and put an "h" in the beginning.

What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?

One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.

(Yes, I know God created the rainbow, not Jesus.)

What do guns and gum have in common?

When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Friend: You look like a baboon.

Me: Stop talking, you look like a gorilla, so I might call animal control on you and I'll be seeing you at the zoo!

Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.

Condoms 99 percent effective.

Birth control 99 percent effective.

Etc.

Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)

I once got in trouble in the library for putting the women's right book in the fantasy section.

Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?

A: Because they like to come in a little behind.