Society jokes

Want to know what I do in my freetime?

Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!

Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

What’s the difference between a job and a wife?

The job keeps sucking after 5 years.

Why was the orphan confused at the baseball game?

They kept yelling, "Go home!"

Why can’t an orphan get arrested?

Because they're not wanted.

Why are orphans so lucky?

Every crisp packet is family sized.

What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?

The criminal is wanted.

I like telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I made Google Earth for orphan kids.

Sadly, it does not show where home is.

I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To get to the real estate agent.

Gays are always welcome on my Redneck Party Bus. NOT!

What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.

So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.

The next day I saw a dead orphan.

What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?

They're both filled with happy little accidents.

I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.

God, orphanages are fun to work at!!

I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?