Society jokes
Person: You're so ugly.
Me: You ugly.
Person: I'm not a mirror.
Me: And I'm not your reflection.
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
As a man can confirm
What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?
Apples get picked.
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
Why was the orphan confused at the baseball game?
They kept yelling, "Go home!"
I made Google Earth for orphan kids.
Sadly, it does not show where home is.
I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.
So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.
The next day I saw a dead orphan.
What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?
They're both filled with happy little accidents.
SAVE ORPHAN JOKES! SAVE THEM!
I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.
Why can't the orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to...
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because it can’t find home.
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.