Me: Have you ever tried African food?
You: No.
Me: They haven't either.
What's the difference between a boy and gold?
More people want gold.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
Wanna hear a joke?
Woman's rights.
Your mom.
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
Why are most West Virginians going to hell?
Their favorite pastimes (inbreeding and bestiality) are an abomination unto the Lord.
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."
A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
Because there was a school on the other side.
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
What’s white and sticky? A white man's penis after taking care of his neighbor's dog.
If cops are called pigs, then security guards are piglets.
Shaenaya is single, 16, and looking for a 30 year old man that can pleasure her, huh?
Shaenaya likes goat dick.
What do you call a bus full of white people?
A TWINKiE!!!
Me: What do you call a group of retards?
Friend: Down town?
Me: Nope, target practice.
I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.
Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.
