Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they can't put a house.
A man walks into a bar... and he never walks out.
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
"Welcome to Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where last week's loss is this week's sauce."
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.