Slang jokes
Would masturbating while smoking weed be considered masturblazing, weedwhacking, or highjacking?
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.
Do you like Wendy's? When deez nutz are in your mouth.
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN.
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?
A: It rises every morning.
What does FNAF mean? Five Nasty Ass Fools.
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?
You pick it up off the street.
Why did the farmer go to the strip club?
Because he was looking for his hoe.
I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.
Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?
A: Because they have the balls to.
What is smegma name?
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
What did one copper say to the other? C U.