Slang jokes
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
Segma says, "32!"
Ligma Says, "And?"
Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
Do you like Wendy's? When deez nutz are in your mouth.
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?
A: It rises every morning.
What does FNAF mean? Five Nasty Ass Fools.
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?
You pick it up off the street.
Why did the farmer go to the strip club?
Because he was looking for his hoe.
I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.
American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"
Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."
What is the female version of t-bagging? A clam slapping.
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
What is smegma name?
Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?
A: Because they have the balls to.