Size jokes
What do you call a midget born from precum?
"Half Nut!"
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
Why do midgets laugh while they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
What do you call a short fortune-teller that escaped from jail?
A small medium at large.
Friend, your mum's fat.
Me: Well, your mum's so fat, she played pool with the planets.
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."
Your mother is so fat, she doesn’t need...
What's the only good thing about being an orphan?
All snacks are family sized!
Ur mom was so fat that even Jon Brower Minnoch was ten times less fat.
Your butt's so big you can slap it and ride the waves.
Your face is so big that not even you can see it.
Your mama is so fat, she broke the stairs to Heaven.
Do you ever wonder why orphans buy small cereal boxes? It's because they can't get family size.
Yo mama so fat, she the ice burg.
Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.
Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.
My friend: "Hey, I see a dwarf!"
Me: "Where?"
Friend: "In front of me."
Your forehead is so big that your name is Humpty Dumpty, the big forehead!