Rodent jokes
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they're very tiny and we're not sure how they got in there.
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.
What do you call mouse sneakers? Squeakers!
Where do you mix a bunny and a hare?
Bunny hair.
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
Where did the mouse go?
To the mouse-um!
What does a polite mouse say?
"Cheese and thank you."
Have a sink in your house? Eat it.
Have a mouse in your house? Kill it.
Have a child in your house? MICROWAVE IT.
...just kidding. Now watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5tjtUFL0j4
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
What is a mouse's favorite movie?
"Sharpay's Fabu-mouse Adventure!"
What would you name your pet rabbit?
Harry.
Doc: Can I help you?
Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.
Doc: When did it begin?
Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).
Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...
Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.
Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?
Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.
What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.
What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel?
"Stop staring at my nuts."
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?
Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
What did the beaver say when it hit the wall? Dam!