Rodent jokes
What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?
Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
What did the mouse say after its bath?
"I feel squeaky clean!"
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock.
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-.
My sister was getting something from the basement, and seeing rats, she said: "Rats are so disgusting and ugly."
I turned to her, "Sis, self-hate is not okay."
Where did the mouse go?
To the mouse-um!
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they're very tiny and we're not sure how they got in there.
What does a polite mouse say?
"Cheese and thank you."
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
What do you call a squirrel that flies? A flying squirrel.
What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.
What do you call mouse sneakers? Squeakers!
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
Where do you mix a bunny and a hare?
Bunny hair.
What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!