How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.
Yo mama so fat, Trump used her like a wall.
What do you call a pissed off midget?
A micro-aggression.
Your butt looks so big, it's bigger than Sam Hill.
Yo momma so skinny, she wipes with floss!
Your momma is so skinny, she hula hoops with a Cheerio!
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.
Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.
I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.
When midgets smoke weed, do they get high or do they get medium?
Your momma is so fat, she doesn't need Wi-Fi, she is already worldwide!
Who's the smallest wife??
Micro-wife.
Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
Your forehead is so big, the moon landing was there.
I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.
Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.
"SCOOT WANT TAXI!" Ok, maybe I do but can't make it there because yo mama is so fat he can't hear me on the other side.
Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.
