Size jokes
You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist colony the other day.
When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.
Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
Yo mama is so fat, she had to snap his finger twice.
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.
Why did I have to pay $300 on Uber?
I had to get from your forehead to your big ass nose.
Yo mama so fat...
Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.
Yo mama is so fat Thanos snapped twice.
What's a benefit of being an orphan? The chips always come in a family size :)
What do orphans call a family photo? A selfie.
Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.
Yo mama so fat, her weight is angry grandpa's subscriber count.
Your forehead is so big that you dream in 4K.
"I was walking in the yard yesterday and a bug stepped on me. Why, you ask? Because the bug didn't know I was there."
I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.
Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!
Your mom's so fat, she don't need to be worldwide, she already is.
Why are midgets short?
'Cause they are!
Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scales, it said, "One person at a time, please!"