Size jokes
Trees are just bushes with lift kits.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.
Simply because they look up to me.
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
And microtransaction.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
Your hairline is so big, I couldn't find the area of it on Jupiter.
Yo mama so fat, she fell off the judgement room and broke the 7 layers of hell.
Yo mama so fat, when she touched the stairs, it said, "To be continued!"
Why do women hate having sex with midgets?
Because of their shortcomings.
Yo mama is so fat, she doesn't need internet, she's already WORLDWIDE.
Why did the short person become a chef?
Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!
Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.
She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"
Daveon can barely fit on 5 pages.
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.
Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.