Size jokes
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.
Yo momma's so fat, her shirt size has more X's than Taylor Swift.
Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.
It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.
Yo mama is so fat, she falls off both sides of the bed.
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 2.5-hour Energy?
Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.
Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.
Why do you call a fat midget?
Jiggly Puff.
Trees are just bushes with lift kits.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.
Simply because they look up to me.
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
And microtransaction.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.