Size jokes
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
I wish I could tell you about my penis, but it's too short.
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.
yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"
What do you call a midget psychic that has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.
My friend talking to fat boi: "I can order you at McDonald's: Double Big Mac, triple quarter pounder cheeseburger."
Your mumma so fat she takes up 4 seats of the sofa.
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
Me: Hi Kallen.
Kallen: Hi.
Me: You're too big to fit in my car.
Why do orphans get the small sized chip bags?
Because they don’t have a family to share it with. 😥
Me.
The joke is as short as me.
Calculate my dick, virgins!
Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.
Yo mama so fat when she asked for a bathtub, they put a blanket over an ocean!