Situation jokes
When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...
I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
Memes
It's ALWAYS like this
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
If a mentally challenged person shows up late,
Is it ok to call him tardy?
Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
Be smart, not stupid.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:
"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"
Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"
Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"
I’m about to go to the orphanage to say yo mama jokes.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.
I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.
I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.
Orphan: Can I go outside?
Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.
Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW
Why do orphans hate dad jokes? They never return.
An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”