Situation jokes

When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...

I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

Be smart, not stupid.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:

"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"

Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"

I’m about to go to the orphanage to say yo mama jokes.

Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.

Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!

What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.

I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.

I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.

Orphan: Can I go outside?

Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.

Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW

Why do orphans hate dad jokes? They never return.

An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

I came on for an orphan joke.

Then I realized they are a joke.

How did the orphan become famous?

By "go[ing] big or go[ing] home."

They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?

I am in trouble.

Why do orphans not like Family Guy? Because they have family.

Me: I need a good roast.

My friend: Take me!