Sitting jokes
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
What happens if you sit under a cow?
You get a pat on the head.
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.
FEW!!!!!!!
Your hairline's so far back, even Rosa Parks refused to sit in the back; it went all the way there itself.
Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.
Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."
Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."
Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits, she makes a 7.4 earthquake.
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!
Your hairline so bad that when your teacher puts you to sit in the front of the class, your hairline be all the way in the back.
Did you sit in sugar?
Because you've got a sweet ass.
Why don't people sit next to the cheetah during a test?
Because he's a cheetah!
Mommy sits on my potty and sings a song about poop.
There was a kid sitting in a corner.
Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"
Orphan: "..."
Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."
You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.
I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.
One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.