I got mad at my sister’s boyfriend so I fucked his girl
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.
Name Something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister SWEET HOME ALABAMA
“It’s ok, it won’t be awkward. We’re still friends.”
“She didn’t wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she’ll still be my sister.”
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
Teacher: People with Depression never get anywhere in life. Student 1: My mom has depression, but she died. Student 2: My sister has depression and she’s going to Therapy. Student 3: My Dad Has depression, and he’s Doing REALLY Well
My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. ùshe told me that the was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said “Come on I was gonna eat that later! Now it’s just gonna taste like carrots!”
what do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha
my mom said to take out the trash bags so i did and the next day my mom asked “where are your sisters?” i said “in line to get crushed”
My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry
So I threw a coconut at her
So there I was fucking my sister and she’s shouts “god you fuck like dad” I then said “damn that’s what mom said”
My sister’s bf is mad at me cuz I fucked his girl
You want to hear a dirty joke?
This guy and this girl were having sex when the guys boss called to ask why he wasn’t at work. The guy responds, "I’m sick" His boss replies, "you don’t sound sick" The guy says, “I’m fucking my sister” and hangs up the phone
The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, “I got to have this guy. He’s got the best arm I’ve ever seen!”
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
“Mother,” he yells over the phone, “We just won the Super Bowl!”
“Don’t talk to me,” the woman says. “You abandoned us. You can’t be my son.”
The young Iraqi begs, “Mom, you don’t understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!”
“I don’t care,” his mother snaps. “Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped.”
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.
What do tampons and your sister have in common!
My sisters name is coco and one day she was funny so I told her you
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said “how sick?”. I said “well I’m in bed with my 12 year old sister”.
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
What’s better then sex with your 12 year old sister?
Rolling her over and pretending it’s your 10 year old brother