Girlfriend

Anonymous

Most states:

“It’s ok, it won’t be awkward. We’re still friends.”

Alabama:

“She didn’t wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she’ll still be my sister.”

Name

YEEYEEMUTHERF...ER

Name Something you practiced kissing on as a kid.

Sister SWEET HOME ALABAMA

Brother

Anonymous

My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.

Cry

Anonymous

“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”

0

Almighty

Carl weasly

Pp almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said just put it in.

Taste

Dick wang

I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said “Come on I was gonna eat that later! Now it’s just gonna taste like carrots!”

1

Dad

Anonymous

So there I was fucking my sister and she’s shouts “god you fuck like dad” I then said “damn that’s what mom said”

Depression

Madison R.

Teacher: People with Depression never get anywhere in life. Student 1: My mom has depression, but she died. Student 2: My sister has depression and she’s going to Therapy. Student 3: My Dad Has depression, and he’s Doing REALLY Well

3

Love

Anonymous

So Kenny finally found his one true love. But he can’t be with her because it’s illegal to marry your sister.

Sick

TheBeast

I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said “how sick?”. I said “well I’m in bed with my 12 year old sister”.

Bag

Anonymous

my mom said to take out the trash bags so i did and the next day my mom asked “where are your sisters?” i said “in line to get crushed”

Class

Anonymous

So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.

So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sisters Jenga kit”

The principles office smells nice

Baby

F...HandsMcFestive

My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.

2

Dirty Joke

LikeaNinja

You want to hear a dirty joke?

This guy and this girl were having sex when the guys boss called to ask why he wasn’t at work. The guy responds, "I’m sick" His boss replies, "you don’t sound sick" The guy says, “I’m fucking my sister” and hangs up the phone

Girl

Anonymous

My sister’s bf is mad at me cuz I fucked his girl

2

Star Wars

Anonymous

What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister? You better not Leia finger on her!

Blue

Gwen

5 4 3 2 1. A castle ways a ton. 5 4 3 2 1. The Queen of England’s won. I never thought she’d get it done, but her sister is a nun.

Football

Tanner Pomeranz

The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.

Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.

One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!

He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!

Coach said to himself, “I got to have this guy. He’s got the best arm I’ve ever seen!”

He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.

The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.

“Mother,” he yells over the phone, “We just won the Super Bowl!”

“Don’t talk to me,” the woman says. “You abandoned us. You can’t be my son.”

The young Iraqi begs, “Mom, you don’t understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!”

“I don’t care,” his mother snaps. “Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped.”

Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.

Name

Prankster

My sisters name is coco and one day she was funny so I told her you

Coconut

Period

Anonymous

How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad’s c–k tastes like s–t!