Alphabet

Anonymous

So there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, what is one plus one? She said I HATE YOU. Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN! Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said 85 SMACK EM DOWN! Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, My buns are burning. Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! Bobby said, NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN! The principal yelled, HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?! Then he said, 85 SMACK EM DOWN! Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, my buns are burning.

5

Difference

Zane

What’s the difference between my phone and my sister? I actually give a damn if my phone dies.

5

Daughter

person

Daughter: “Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?” Father: "Ask your sister” Daughter: “I don’t have a…”

0

Circumcision

Anonymous

How do you circumcise someone from Alabama? Kick his sisters jaw

School

Anonymous sis

Yo sis come here sis: what. Me: oh sorry you doing school sis: yup me can i go sis:no way you’re going to hug me me: i love you

Christmas

Tara

So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”

Girlfriend

Jaylyn

What is the difference between you’re girlfriend and you’re sister

There both sweet home Alabama

Difference

Anonymous

whats the difference between a lambo and a boner

your sister didnt give me a lambo

Circumcision

Rednecks

How do you circumcise a redneck?

You kick his sister in the jaw

0

Depression

Anonymous

Watches sad movie with family

Everyone else: Crying

Sister: How aren’t you crying?

Me: I have no tear left to cry…

Stand

Bullying

He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair

Blonde

AmIAJokeToYou??

3 blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke , each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can’t laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer. So the angel begins telling them the joke, one of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laugjhs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said ‘‘this is the last step if you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don’t you can pass. The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, ‘‘What do you ca…’’ out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. ‘‘Why are you laughing I haven’t even finished the joke yet’’? The blonde replies ‘’ I just got the first joke’’.

911

Incest is great

my sister reminds me of 911 one moan of OMG got everyone’s attention.

Girl

Gwen

Bf: Do you love me?

Gf: Most of time.

Bf: Well it’s either yes or no.

Gf: …

Bf: Well when is it that you don’t love me?

Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you to the river an hour than it takes me a half hour to love you again.

Bf: Why?

Gf: Cuz you always see that OTHER GIRL.

Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!

Gf: Ohh…

Alphabet

Anonymous

Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.

The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”

As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.

3

Cannibal

Anonymous

My sister asked me what is dark humour i asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? KINDERSURPRISE!

Little Johnny

Michael

Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it a genie came out and said “You have 10 seconds to have one wish”. Little Johny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family and his sister doesn’t believe it. After having a drink she says, “We should have this every night!”. Little Johny gets two cups every night one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives on himself and his sister asks, “Wheres my cup?”. little Johny replied, “Your drinking out of the bottle tonight”.

Finger

HEHA

This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad’s wedding ring.

Billy

Ken

Sister: (moaning) go get mom, she’d love this Me: but Billy’s with her right now Billy: UGHHHH…MMMMM Dad: hurry up Billy, I want to see you for a moment…