Since Jokes

I would create an orphan website..... But you need a home page to do that. (since somebody stole this joke before)🤷‍♀️

Hi guys, so today I am going to do another blog. It's just for fun, and yeah. Enjoy! So, this morning, when I woke up, I heard that I was getting new grips, I was so excited. (Incase you guys don't know what grips are, they are sort of like gloves that go on your hands and they are for gymnastics bars.) I was excited because my old grips don't fit me anymore and my coach was like "Oh I can get you some new ones since we have a meet in a week." And so I was like "Oh that's fine. My parents ordered me some. Thank you though." And she was like "Okay that's fine. Just make sure you have them by next week" So long story short, I have new grips now.

Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on saint Georges day Irishman: We called our daughter valentine since she was born on valentines day Scotsman: We named our son pancake because he was born on pancake day!

So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo all they said was I could ride him it would be expensive tho since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100

I told my cousin since we're not blood related our parents would let us date.

Her pants were on fire.

Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.

One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house. I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games." Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.

one day, a chicken went to the nail store. He asked the "owner" where the shampoo was. "BRO IM NOT THE FRIKKIN MANAGER" the guy said. So the duck walked away. The next day he went back to the store and asked a pregnant lady why she was so fat. The lady punched him and ran away. The duck cried. Then he went to the lady's husband and said that he must be tired of being married since she punches people every day. The man punched him. The duck assumed they were the punching couple. The duck walked, and then fell in a ditch and stayed there to die. The pregnant lady and her husband were very pleased >:) muhahahahahahaha

Long time since I made a joke huh? I used a Time Machine to make this one

dad: My kid just said butch but since he is a kid he said a bad word on accident *the next day* uncle: F*CK

You: I have a nice hairline Your friend: Since when do you have one. You: I forgot

Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great either

Oh my Prince, I've loved you ever since, the day we met, When I was caught in your net, of love sweet love... It's all above...

ok heres a story about the church the there was 2 parents, then they have a baby, then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his fore head guess he was big headed, sorry if this offends anyone or make this joke bad since i keep writing this

A chinese drug dealer said to me "Do you like my cocaine?" I replied "Not since he starred in Zulu".