My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.
My name, my address and my phone number.
Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.
i can here thunder outside which i find weird since the lightning is on my arm....
Calling Alabama's football team an astonishment would be the biggest understatement of the century, especially since they continuously catch balls from someone who isn't related to them.
I wish my dad was home I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008
Patient: I'm starting to forget things Doctor: Since when have you had this condition? Patient: What condition?
Girl: I've been a orphan since I was three.
Boy: knock knock.
Girl: ..Who's there?
Boy: not your parents!
A elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game The man asks "Is it your first time?" The woman replies "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."
I am Funny but sad. I submit jokes you'll love. Anyway...
Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared if being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"
Dr Fauci would be surprised to know that R Kelly didn't catch COVID-19. But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.
It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible....But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’
DISCLAIMER! MY COUSIN TOLD ME THIS:
"I for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. Its been awhile since we had a presidential assassination."
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friends grandpa is in the house
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Today I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints, wow I’m so nice taking care of the disabled
A cow went into a pride of lion’s territory?
Since that moment he knew his life was on stake
