Sight jokes
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.
On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.
“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.
It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
I went to the National Redhead Meeting yesterday.
Not a soul in sight.
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
What did the blind man say on Christmas?
"I can feel your presents!"
I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.
Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
What does a dead baby look like?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
Guess who I saw at school today?
Everyone I looked at. loooooooool
How are mountains able to see?
They peak!
Black holes and horny black women have 1 thing in common, they suck everything in sight.
"Herro, I cannot see my eyes."
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
Why can't the blind man see? Because he can't see.