Side jokes

What was OceanGate's biggest regret?

Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.

What is my most popular side of myself?

Suicide.

You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.

Yo mama so fat, that when she fell I didn’t laugh, but damn that sidewalk cracked up. 👋

Why did the dog cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Yo mama is so fat, she falls off both sides of the bed.

I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.

It was one-sided.

What's a plus side to being an orphan?

Every bag of chips is family size. T - T

On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they were outside my head.

Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.

Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”

How do trees access the internet? They log in.

Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.

You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)

A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."

Ads for meds be like: Chloroform, it's Chloroform, helps with itchy eyes. Side affects may include Acute Flaccid Myelitis (AFM), AIDS (HIV/AIDS), Alphaviruses, Alzheimer's Disease, Alzheimer's Diseases (Spanish), Arboviral Encephalitis, Arthritis, Babesiois, Cancer, Unintentional injuries, Chronic lower respiratory disease, Stroke and cerebrovascular diseases, Alzheimer's disease, Diabetes, Influenza and pneumonia.

I saw a kid crying, sitting on the sidewalk, and I asked him where his parents were. He then cried even more. God, I love working at the orphanage.

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

On the plus side, Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with alcohol.

"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."

Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.

If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.

And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!

Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.

What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?

Answer: Your right elbow.