Side jokes
Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
Because there was a school on the other side.
The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
Your mama so fat she’s on both sides of the family.
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
On the plus side, Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with alcohol.
A drunk guy is showing friends his new apartment.
The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.
"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.
"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."
"How does it work?"
The guy picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "For God's sake, you asshole, it's 3:30 in the god damn morning!"
Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋
Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
Yo mama so fat, when you married your sister, she was big enough to sit on the groom's side and the bride's side.
I woke up on the floor this morning. I think I woke up on the wrong side though.
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
Because he opened a corner shop on the other side.
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.