So this guy right, he has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog. About 2 weeks after he loses everything he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "what do you mean by 'blowing chunks' ?" says the boss. The man replies with, " Chunks is the name of my dog..."
Q: What do bloods eat when they get sick?
A: Chicken noodle suwoop
How do sick Mexicans say hello? "Ebola"
Why do vampires Are always sick because they are coffin
why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? becuse it needed lemin ade(not the cool tipe of sick the one where you are in the hospital)lemin ade 1st ade
Ceo intrupidore born in 1964 Jeffrey,Jeffrey bozos.repeat come on Jeffrey you can do it pave the way put your back in to it tell is why show is how look at where you came from look at you now. Zuckerberg and gates and Muke it the anchors can make and sick it up there wivs drink there blood come on jeff get I'm dododoodododod
Holy fucking shit Addison watersharky Gwen and all of you other cringelords I swear to god I I hear one more thing about “please be kind no bullying on the internet” I will actually shoot my local school. You may not know since you are only 8yrs old or whatever but the world is not kind. It’s full of sick people out to beat others and the only way to stay safe is to beat them. So even if you think you are spreading kindness it’s just gonna make you a target. So just stfu and keep your “please be kind “messages to yourselves
If you were driving when all the sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes you sick bastard.
This isn’t a joke. Quiet kid jokes are so cliché. Like since when was there an original quiet kid joke like smh. Doesn’t help because im a quiet kid and people act as if I’m soo dangerous and it’s like the only thing they say to me. Being judged as some big bad monster for being AN INTROVERT!! These jokes used to be funny to me.. but now I’m just sick of them...
I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.
Jesus, that's sick.
The orphan wanted to call home sick but there was no one
the orphan went to school to have food but there was no money in his account
Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day, when suddenly Johnny said,"Mom I think I'm gonna throw up" Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there". Johnny comes back a minute later and his mom asks,"Did you make it?", then Johnny said,"No, but there was a box by the door that SAID For The Sick"
There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes. When she got the puppy, he was nice. But the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually the parents got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food you know.” The parents only answered with “oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy..he won’t need feeding for years.”
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick, she said shut the fuck up and keep digging
What is the worst combination of illnesses?
Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.
You lot are sick sons of bitches
I'm sick of crying;tired of trying;yes,i'm still smiling;inside I'm dying
By the law you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle
A butt saw the toilet and said "Sh#t I'm sick.
Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was home sick so the teacher said yes and a few seconds later little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in he bellybutton and she said yes a few seconds later she moaned and felt so good but it was not his finger of putting it down her bellybutton it was his dick and her penis