Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.
why dose Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess? he cant choose between black or white.
Hey what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up
What does it sound when a dragon sings? A fire alarm
why was the math book so sad because it was filled with problems
My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once We had sex afterwards even though she lost
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window? He was airing his blanket.
What kind of fish ๐ comes out at night ๐?
A starfish.
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man an entire city disappeared
I have a problem my dad any my girlfriend have the same birthday. So one took my virginity and the other is my girlfriend
Why are frogs ๐ธ good at basketball ๐?
Because they always make jump shots.
What Road goes all the way to the sky? A Highway
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone
Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a SILENT ATTACK
Why did the tornado ๐ช take a break?
Because it ran out of wind! ๐จ๐
Why did Helen Kellerโs boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!
Can bees fly higher than Mt.Everest? No? Actually they can. Mt.Everest can't fly.
Why are cats ๐ good at video games!
Because they have nine lives!
Whatโs the difference between an LGBTQ and brain cells?
Brain cells make up their mind.