Short jokes
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."
Damn, bitch, you got a big ass for a head!
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
What did the bread say to the peanut butter? "I think your nuts."
How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.
Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?
He can't choose between black or white.
What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?
Burial grounds.
How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.
Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.
Why doesn't a skeleton dance? Because he had no body to dance with. Lol, Sans.
Where did Noah keep his bees? -- In the ark hives.
What's black on top and white on the bottom?
rape.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.
Who can drink 20 liters of fuel without dying? A jerrycan.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."