Your like a cloud. When you go away, its a beautiful day.
Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?
It has better reflexes than the twin towers.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
Gays: "I like men."
Straight: "I like women."
Bisexual: "A hole is a hole."
Woah man, you need to take a step back. Your hairline did, so I am sure you can.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.
*Loud explosion inside the tank*
"Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."
I'm starting to wish my grass was emo. Why? So it would cut itself.
What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common...neither of them go pass 12.
Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man better than another heterosexual man? experience
Lmao idiots don't know how to play Jenga.
Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?
A. Calculus homework.
What are you good at? Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.
I was excited my teacher asked my for sex in exchange for a good grade, but then I realized I was homeschooled.
What does five dicks sticking out of the glory holes and five udders both have in common? they are ready for milking
They told me I could never be an actor....
No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.
What mental illness do terrorists suffer from?
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED)
