Short jokes

Dislike this.

My name is Mr. Cheese, but your jokes are cheesier than me!

What was George's last message to humanity before joining the others?

"I CAN'T BREATHE!"

What do orphans call a holiday?

A bit of soil and some leaves as a blanket.

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

I laughed at their chalk outline.

I put a Dalmatian in a washing machine and killed him.

Q: What did one dead hooker say to the other dead hooker?

A: Nothing, dead hookers don't talk.

Why do balls be hairy? Cause they stinky!

Roses are dead, violets smell like poo, I got a big fucking shotgun, what you gonna do?

Your mum is so fat, I had to take 2 buses and a train to get to her good side.

Zany zany zany zany zany zany zany zany zany zany zany zany.

Yo mama so fat that when she looks into a mirror, it always shatters, because her weight could be felt all around.

When the Two Towers ordered pizza, all they got was plane.

I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.

I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.

*guitar solo*

I have a penis, and sometimes I bite it.

Danny, your mum [is] dead as hell and got raggedy shoes on.

I asked my friend Cammy what is 55+68 and he was to say it in words, he replied with "swebin".

My friend Andrew once told me that "weird is high and drunk at the same time."

I’m gay because I nutted on the wall, now there are walnuts.

Why does Sophia have no ears? Her mom gave her, her first haircut.