Short jokes
What is an orphan's favorite event? Homecoming.
Are you suicide, 'cause you're always on my mind?
My mom asked me to stop making jokes about suicide.
I answered, "Don't worry... I'll stop soon."
An old lady in the bank told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad. Oh.... Wait... Continue.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she didn't have any arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
What show does an orphan hate?
Family Guy.
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.
The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.
I have no friends, but then I realize my true friends are anxiety and depression.
Without women, sex would be a pain in the ass.
Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday?.... Christmas because everything is hanging.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
I'd rate the food in Afghanistan a 9/11. That shit was bomb.
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
The puppies actually get adopted.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Please End My Depression And Suffering.
One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."