Short jokes

Short jokes

Balance

An old lady in the bank told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

  • 9
  • Orphan

    Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad. Oh.... Wait... Continue.

    Susie

    Why did Susie fall off the swing?

    Because she didn't have any arms.

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Not Susie.

    Failure

    I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.

    Freedom

    The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.

  • 6
  • Friend

    I have no friends, but then I realize my true friends are anxiety and depression.

    Christmas

    What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday?.... Christmas because everything is hanging.

  • 4
  • Orphan

    Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.

    Sky Diving

    Me: Have you ever went sky diving?

    Friend: No.

    Me: Well don't, it sucks.

    Friend: Why?

    Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.

  • 2
  • Orphan

    What's the difference between puppies and orphans?

    The puppies actually get adopted.

    Orphan

    How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

    Orphan

    One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."