Short jokes
Mike Oxlong: What's deez, Mike?
Mike Oxsmall: I dunno. What is deez?
Mike Oxlong: DEEZ NUTS! HA, GOT 'EM!
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
Your hairline is so big, it counts as its own planet.
Happiness belonged to you, then gave you depression.
Jacob Colletto
You: You are such a flick pain.
Me: You are flick pain to my sight.
Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭
Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵
I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"
Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.
Your forehead is so big it drips pickle juice!
What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.
What do dead people and orphans have in common? They can't see their family.
What do you need an apple because you got an "izzy?"
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-
How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?
Tell him you don’t believe in dog.
Hey, Squidward, say "kid" backward. Also, suck my dick!
Being mean.
Let's stop this, it's not funny. Oh wait, the orphans are all gone with nobody. 😂
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.
Have you seen my uncle?
Jesus: I have.
God: Me too.
What did the glove say to his girlfriend?
I glove you!