Short jokes
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous, aka cashews.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
A computer usually has a HARD drive. LESSON. No wonder they remember things.
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.
Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
Roses are red, violets are blue, The children are fast, But Elmo is faster, Bow down to your master!
Banana bread is cute.
My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!
Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?
What was the name of a Roman guide?
Guide Gius.
"CoComelon meme,
No matter how fast I run, I can't escape my problems - OULEH...
Nobody loves me .v."
"Ketchup with me, you are too slow."
If a walnut is a nut on the wall, then what is a peanut?