Short jokes
Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?
They can go through 100 floors in 7 seconds.
They made a movie about 9/11.
It was a big hit.
Who left him hanging?
You: You are such a flick pain.
Me: You are flick pain to my sight.
Friend: Ur sister after you were born. š
Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. šµ
What do my cock and money have in common?
Your mom.
He had the curse of vanishing.
OnlyFans, but itās me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.
*having sex on lexapro*
Her: Cum for me, baby!
Me: I'm trying!
I either added you because we have shit tons of mutuals, or 'cause I'd let you spit alcohol in my mouth.
I'll let you decide.
The difference between gorge floyd and kobe is kobe got air
Me: And this is the room I cry in.
Date: You've said that about every room.
Me: Correct!
I'm great!! I'm good. I'm doing good hahaha. I mean "well" haha! Haha I'm doing well, not good! Haha I'm not doing good! I'm not doing so good.
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
Me: "WYD?"
Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."
Me: "Without me? Lol"
My two moods are āI canāt believe I get to be a personā and āI canāt believe I have to be a person.ā
Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!
I got sent to the principal's office for giving an orphan kid a family-size pack.
Beans, your mum is fat!