Short jokes

"You're the bomb"—a compliment in the USA.

An argument in the Middle East.

I killed a Wood elf yesterday. The guard charged me with... mer-der.

Oliver Savagê.

Once, there were two cupcakes in the furnace. One cupcake said, "It's kinda hot in here." The other one said, "Hah, a talking cupcake!"

I went to a truck on wheels, they said, "Wheel feed you."

I wanna go to Antarctica, but then I got cold feet.

Laugh.

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

Let me Lickitung until you Squirtle.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Yes, because a house doesn’t jump.

If I had a dollar for every time someone did something stupid,

I would have approximately 7.8 Billion dollars.

The exam is knocking at my door... so I ran away from the window.

When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"

What is a mouse’s 🐭 favorite side order?

Cheese Fries 🍟😋

Hi 👋 I have some good idea 💡. What was the best game I’ve [played]?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

You.

You who?

Don't you get it? You're the joke, dumbass!

Just to an orphan.

Orphan: You're stupid.

You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.

My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.

Q. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name! 😂

A broken pencil tried to break the laws of physics. It wasn't very sharp.