Short jokes
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
Opal didn't hack RapBoat's account, she WAS RapBoat the whole time.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your laughter's melody, Makes my world anew.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Like petals in the wind, My heart dances for you.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your eyes' reflection, My dreams come true.
When baseball players want to get together, what will they do?
Touch base.
One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.
Me: Which WiFi are we on?
Coworker: Should be floor 89.
Me: What about flight 104?
Coworker: Oh crap!
What’s long and hard and full of semen?
A submarine.
A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.
What do you call a cold Explain bear?
A brrr.
Harder than a diamond in an ice storm.
Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?
Why was 10 scared? Because of 9/11.
You know how 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9?
Well, how do you think 10 feels being in the middle of 9 11?
When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.