Short jokes
What is an emo's favorite place?
Niagara Falls.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
You're just big and good.
Our hairline goes way back before dinosaurs lived.
It's ya boy Dixbfloppin!
Say "sukki" 10 times fast.
When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!
I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.
My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.
"Goodness, that's what Post Malone sounds like?"
"Give me some pre-Malone hip hop any day!"
It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The silence.
"5 dollars if a fat guy can find his penis."
"I'm going to sue Disney. Not enough racism!" - Grizzy
Your mum is a baby, huh? Not a little baby!
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
There’s no “I” in team, but there is a “U” in cunt.
"Giggety, giggety." Lois, give me your titties.