Short jokes
Má ég fara heim?
(In an infant-esque voice.)
When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"
There were two twins, and they were both very tall.
The next thing they knew, they were on the floor, and there were planes up their asses.
Most of us have been somewhere Stephen Hawking hasn’t: Upstairs.
Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!
What did the soldier say when he saw a terrorist in a wheelchair?
"An RC-XD!"
Who is king of the pencils?
The ruler!
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.
What is an emo kid's favorite Tool? A rope.
My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.
What kind of tree can you High-Five?
A palm tree.
What do you call an animal flouting?
Super bird!
Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"
And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."
How do baseballs communicate?
They touch base!
You've been hit by, You've been struck by, Planes!
I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.
Why was Liverpool the worst bespoke? Rio supports it, hahah!
I can't spell. Spell. Pels. Slepe. Spell. Ellpas[a[dpa[pw[paew[pfopaojf[apdkoc[asndcsdokd Fkuc.
Why can't emos come out of the closet to their parents?
Because they won't be there to stick around.
Jack