Short jokes
A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."
I told this knock knock joke to Helen Keller...
Me: Knock Knock
Her:
Yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
"Sike, I lied, your dick is dry."
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
Be careful around fire, plastic melts.
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂
What is the definition of Hell, a city in the state of Michigan?
A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"
He got a paper cut and bled out.
One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.
It's the Olympics.
Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.
Fe fi foung better run and hide: Covid (really).
What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?
They both see things they shouldn't.
Yo momma so slutty, she did a mukbang video with dicks instead of food.
How do skeletons get COVID?
From the coffin!
Gina: Ha! YOU HAVE NOTHING!
Orphan: Yes I do.
Gina: What do you have then?
Orphan: Parents.
Gina: LIAR!