Short jokes
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?
Air quality alert code brown!
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
Are you interested in it?
More than two boot branches.
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.
How did the rapper find his missing phone?
He checked the track list.
Why do asses make terrible spies?
Because they always CRACK under pressure.
What do you call an ass on a beach?
Sandy cheeks!
What do asses and secrets have in common?
Both are better when not leaked!
Which of these is the smartest; also, list them too: Is it autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
What do you call a booty that can sing?
A crack-up!
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"