Short jokes

He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.

I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?

Look - it's the lake of whiz!!!

A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"

Mitosis!!!!!! >:)

When are you from Delaware? You know!!! 📦

Do you know what my favorite time of day is?

6:30, hands down.

Why did the bee get into trouble?

Because he wasn't beehiving very well!

How do you say "nose" in Spanish?

hmm.... No sé.

An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.

What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."

Cooper is the best to ever live.

What is the best way to end a cookbook?

And that’s a wrap!

Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw

Why was the dog staying in the shade?

Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!

So I saw the police. I yelled, "Dumper, get into the fucking yumper!"

Knock knock. Who’s there? Gary. Gary who? Gary a torch.

This text does not contain a joke.

What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?

"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"

I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.

But no pun in ten did.

Why was the Burnside Bridge so hot?

Because it's on the burning side.