Short jokes
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
Why did the mailman come to the house?
To come back with the milk.
Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.
Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.
Why did Al Qaeda fail geometry?
'Cause they ruined the Pentagon.
Blind people driving on the highway would be the world's biggest, and shortest game of bumper cars!
What God do rats worship?
Cheesus.
The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
What do you call a sneaky SCP-096?
The Spy Guy!
Why can orphans travel around so much?
A. They never get homesick.
What was Juice WRLD's favorite store?
Forever 21.
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
Why do mountains never rest?
Because it’s ever-est.
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?