Short jokes
What do you call a sneaky SCP-096?
The Spy Guy!
Why can orphans travel around so much?
A. They never get homesick.
What was Juice WRLD's favorite store?
Forever 21.
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time?
Wrong тайминг.
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
Why do mountains never rest?
Because it’s ever-est.
It's called Costa Coffee because it's short for "Cost A lot for boiled, rancid dishwater."
What's the similarity between my son and a rug from eBay? I asked for a refund.
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.