Short jokes
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!
Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
Suicide is as easy as my ex-wife.
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.
What's the depressed person's favorite song?
Van Halen - Jump
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭
Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵
Doctor: You have cancer.
Patient: Will I survive?
Doctor: Probably not.