Short jokes
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
The guy who discovered milk... What did he do with the cow?!
I can't believe this!
Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.
Wanna know something the orphan could never do?
Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
How does the non binary kill white en Amy?
They/them.
Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!
Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
Connor Davison
Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.
She won't talk to me anymore.
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
My dad has a pretty shitty job.
Who needs parents to be great?
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
What do you call a pole dancer?
A stripper.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
What superhero will orphans never understand?
Homelander.
Why can’t orphans build anything?
Because they can’t go to Home Depot.
150,000$
Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?
Option one: Horses can't speak at all.
Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.