Short jokes
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.
Does a midget count as an orphan?
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
Bro, if you have anorexia, you have no skin at all.
Bleach!
Why did the fish go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling “eel.”
I’m autistic, and I don’t approve of you guys making fun of the 75,000,000 other people.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hitler blew an 11 country lead, During World War 2.
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?
Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.
Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.
What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? (Dam!)
I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.