Short jokes
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
Guys, you need to ketchup with the time.
Your buzz cut is so bad that the bees buzz around it!
What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?
Fat people jokes.
What’s worse than getting a job at McDonald’s?
Not getting the job at McDonald’s.
Inflation is so bad, McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
9/11 wasn’t the date, it was the score.
What is 9+9? 18.
What is 9+10? 19.
What is 9+11? -2996.
Why do people hate jokes about the World Trade Center?
Because it's an easy target.
Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?
2023- my dad is a cop.
1800- my dad owns your dad.
"Yo mama's so fat that when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming."
"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."
Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.
Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.