Short jokes

So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.

I'm actually against abortion.

Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!

Osama bin Laden

Got like 2,997 kills, damn, that's a new record!

Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.

In reality, I like killing myself.

So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."

Are you the voices I've been hearing?

Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)

Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.

What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?

Pigs in a blanket.

What do you do when your cat's not home?

Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.

Did you know the Titanic sank in water?

Titanic 1, Africa 0.

I saw a man. I saw another man. And I saw another. Where am I? Comment below.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?

A: He got caught drinking on the job.

Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?

A: He was in a mid-life crisis.

Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?

A: The Blackhole.

People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.

What is another name for 9/11?

A forbidden game of Jenga.

What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?

Unemployed.

Where would the next Formula race happen?

Answer: On your flat chest.

What's Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?

Wendy's?