Short jokes
Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?
Because it's ill-eagle.
What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?
A miscarriage.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
"Florida was ranked the worst state in the 50 states by Thriller."
Florida: Well, WE didn't want to give our oranges anyway!
I used to have a fear of hurdles.
But I got over it.
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
Why do babies cry? Cuz they can't suck very well.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
I don't like condoms, but I like gay pregnant X.
How did a man kill his car? He throttled it.
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Want to hear a joke?
Ohio State football.
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
What do you call a rich white man? Cracker with Cheese!
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."