Short jokes
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.
What do you call J Cow's new hit? Deja Moo!
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
What did the porg say to the porg?
Hi Porg.
You're on worst jokes ever. You thought I put up a good joke? HAHAHAH!
What is Trump's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)
Where do you go when food dies?
A fooderal.
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic Association.
My favorite sex position is the McDonald's.
Ba da ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it!
It's a RUF life in Africa.
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"
I'm really bad at giving directions, but don't take that the wrong way.
I killed a Wood elf yesterday. The guard charged me with... mer-der.
Your mom is pregnant and you're the father.
We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
Mathew is gay. Clap.
What kind of punch hurts a kid the most?
A sandy hook.