Short jokes
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!
Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, but bigger ones need a crane.
Your mum gay, lol.
What is white, black, and blue all at the same time?
Barack Obama.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
Who likes eating ass?
My Little Pony.
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
Hey, did you know that Stephen Hawking predicted the end of the world?
Well, not really. He predicted the end of *his* world.
How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.
My PC.
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
He had a song named after him: "They see me rolling."
Stephen Hawking just died. Have they tried rebooting him to factory settings?
What's the difference between a chicken and a dog?
I don't know... I'm from China.
Why are some people African?
Because genes, you dummy!
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.
I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun... Then it dawned on me.
Why does Sally hate herself? Because Sophie stole her boy.