Short jokes
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
There was a guy how had a stroke, eh.
He's all right.
Why can't Americans trade with other countries? We lost the trading center!
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
My sister reminds me of 911: one moan of "OMG" got everyone's attention.
Q: How come in airports, they park the planes outside?
A: They don't belong in buildings.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.
Do you know Helen Keller?
Yes.
Did you know she had a dog?...... Neither did she!
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
The boy ran into the gym, why?
Because he wanted to ketch-up with everyone. Also, he got pun-ishment from his "momster."
A black man walked into a bar. Another guy invited him over for a drink. They spent the rest of the night drinking and having a good time.
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.
What do you call J Cow's new hit? Deja Moo!
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
What did the porg say to the porg?
Hi Porg.
You're on worst jokes ever. You thought I put up a good joke? HAHAHAH!
What is Trump's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)
Where do you go when food dies?
A fooderal.