Short jokes
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
What do you call a funny cow?
A cowmedian.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
*bowl of dark grapes*
Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men.
Friend 2: Black? Good one.
Friend 1: 21 at a time.
I went to a muffler party... it was exhausting!
The difference between women and beer is that beer makes you happy for nothing, why women make you angry for nothing.
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
If I busted an egg on your head.... the yolk would be on you... ha ha ha!!!
Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?
Because she wanted to join the Brownies.
With a poke-poke here,
And a poke-poke there,
Here a poke, There a poke, everywhere a poke-poke!
Ehhhhhhhh.
Why did Sally's pizza get cold? Because she has no arms.
What's the second to last letter in the alphabet? Y. Cause I wanted to know.
Some of the best comedians mimic people. I mimic my shadow.
I had the best butterfingers yesterday.
I dropped it.
When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?
What did the south tower say to the north tower? It said: nothing.
9/11 joke.
I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Why did the man yell at the other? To tell a pun.