Short jokes
What is a superhero’s 🦸♀️ favorite drink?
Fruit punch!
What do you call a giraffe without a bowtie? Neck-ed.
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
If my cat was a cactus, doesn't that make him a catus?
Why does NASA only serve Coke?
Because they can't get Seven-Up!
You smell like tap water and cornflakes.
What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?
Mandachlorian.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Discord.
Discord who?
I need discord to plug in the phone.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Maserati.
Maserati who?
Why don't you clean up this Maserati?
If it is called a forehead, what happened to the five-head, six-head, and seven-head?
What would you call a mom cat and a kitten walking together?
KIT-KAT :p
What is a dog that is awesome? A smart dog.
What is a dog?
A pet.
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."
Call me Kobe Bryant, cause I'm gonna helicopter out of this one.
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I know, I'm going to hell!
Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"