Did you know I can't count to whatever number is after 4?
If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?
What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?
The Jew World Order.
What do you call a peso?
A wetback greenback.
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.
When Canadians get hurt, they don't go "ouch," they go "ooch!"
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
My favorite meme is, "N_gga."
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 2.5-hour Energy?
I finally know why my brain doesn't work!
On the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.
If it does more than pee, it's too old for me!
I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!
Thank you, anonymous user, for helping me with math a few months ago.
Now I got a 31 on the ACT.
I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
Q. What do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head?
A. An ambulance.
Incest.
When your genealogy chart is a straight line.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
"Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"
My son is broken: "I think at home!"
Happiness!
