Short jokes

Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?

Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.

What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?

They know how to get a beat down.

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?

How do you flatten curves?

With an abortion.

What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?

Beat it.

I'd say you were the spawn of Satan, but that would be an insult to Satan.

What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.

Explain Bear is my favorite.

Did you hear about the streaker in church? He was caught by the organ.

Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.

There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.

Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.

What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?

Strong to the finish.

You're so skinny that a Wi-Fi signal is stronger.

What is the favorite city of the pedophile icon? Paris.

We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.

Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.

I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.

Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."

Your forehead is so big, explorers mistakenly thought it was Mount Everest.