Short jokes
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What do you call a blonde girl standing on her hands?
A brunette with bad breath.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
Google 'dancing Israelis'.
What's a saying you shouldn't tell an epileptic?
Seize your moment.
Your hairline parts faster than Moses parting the Red Sea.
Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?
Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?
How do you flatten curves?
With an abortion.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?
Beat it.
I'd say you were the spawn of Satan, but that would be an insult to Satan.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
Explain Bear is my favorite.
Did you hear about the streaker in church? He was caught by the organ.
Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.
There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.
Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.