Short jokes
Would you rather eat a brick or a matter baby?
Q: What do you call brown mixed with yellow?
A: Someone who just ate beans.
A, B, C, E, F, G. You smell like a baby. Maybe you should not be "Hati-ey."
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Michael doesn’t fart. Jackson does.
Aiden's the best, in any contest, and no matter what, he'll kick your butt!
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?
Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
Brother: Your nuts!
Sister: What do you mean? You're the one that has the nuts!
Why do G-Unit and C-Unit stand for? Gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit.
Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
Kid: Hi Mum!
Mum: Hi, Loser!
Kid: Why?
Mum: You loser, why? Hahaha!
Kid: Waaaaaaa!
I know this is not funny, but who cares?
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.
My teacher: Time can't count.
Me: Every second counts.
My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!