Short jokes
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
Who was the first carpenter?
Eve, she made Adam's banana stand...
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?
"Hello Ladies!"
I’m probably the episode 9 since I make people cry.
You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.
What starts with M and ends with arriage?
Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?
Neither does the child.
The Bible said, "Adam and Eve..." So I did both.
Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.
Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?
Because they fear him.
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day:
Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you're told.
Why do feminists believe that they can act like a bitch towards men if they want to? Because they were born without a penis.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Perform fellatio.
What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?
A black eye.
"Discuss the synopsis of this poem: My Friend Billy Has A Ten-Foot Willy."
Draw an accurate diagram representing the elephant genitalia. Use all 30 sheets of paper provided.
Are multiple choice questions too easy?
A) Yes.
A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.
Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. $12.99 from Ikea.
In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.
It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.
Abandon ship!