Short jokes
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
Why can Jesus walk on water?
Because rubbish floats.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: “ASPERGER’S”
How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?
Tie the bungee cord around his neck.
Everything I fall in love with leaves me. Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.
😐😑
degwqydgce.
Prostitutes remind me of chewese.
What's the Fastest 20000 Meter Dash a Human Can Run?
Eschew obfuscation.
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."
"Prince, I'm ready to chat when you are. I'm in bed, so yeah, let's chat! Love you!"
"I was walking in the yard yesterday and a bug stepped on me. Why, you ask? Because the bug didn't know I was there."
Article 1: the Titanic is practically unsinkable.
Article 4: the Titanic sank.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
When you still there?
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"