Short jokes

Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?

They made the toys.

What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?

A chew-chew train!

What protects clowns from the sun?

A bozone layer.

Why are grapes never alone?

Because they hang out in a bunch!

What happened when 800 hares got loose in the center of town?

The cops had to comb through the area.

And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.

The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old that my pussy is haunted!"

On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.

When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.

Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.

Welcome to Blind Date. With me, Stevie Wonder!

We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."

James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.

Clear all your debts with one easy payment. Buy a shotgun and blow your head off.

Lynx: For that cheap teenage smell of desperation.

Like a lot of people watching the Olympics, I'm wondering why black people don't just take over the earth.

Dawn rises on the Serengeti, and she has no idea as to how she got there.

Bunny

Where do you mix a bunny and a hare?

Bunny hair.

Moose joke

What is the plural of goose? Geese.

What is the plural of foot? Feet.

What is the plural of moose? Well, it ain't meese!