Short jokes

What starts with "E" and ends with "G"?

Everything.

You are my compass; without you, I’m lost.

I thought happiness started with an “H.” Why does my happiness start with “U”?

Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?

Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.

Even if there was no gravity, I'd still fall for you.

Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?

No one.

Absolutely no one.

The History Channel at 11:00 PM: Who really killed JFK?

My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.

Riddle: I can fill a room, others can have me, but I can't be shared. What am I?

Answer: Loneliness.

Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?

My brother wanted to go fishing. I told him he had to learn how to "master bait". Go look it up on YouTube. Guess who is grounded?

I give you 31 because we will do the 69 later, thanks.

What is Hitler's favorite food? A hindenburger.

Who do you ask to wipe you? Your butler!

What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.

What does a cannibal and a spider have in common?

Both have eight legs.

What's the worst thing to star in?

An amber alert.

Gwen?!?!??!/1??!?!??!

Yo mama so fat that she needs her belly button to beat her home by 15 min.