Short jokes

Mom! (DYM 14)

Hey Qwen, it's me.

Why do orphans not play Call of Duty?

Because they have to land at houses.

It’s too bad G won’t be able to follow in Kobe’s footsteps and rape a hotel employee but not serve one minute in jail.

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

I’m still wearing the smile you gave me last week :)

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.

"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."

I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.

Son: Dad, I need a new butt.

Dad: Why, son?

Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.

There is this boy in my year; he is in a wheelchair, so I kicked a football at him and pushed him, and then I shouted, "Rocket League!"

Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

Big hands.

WWG1WGA.

Trump 2024!

Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...

Where are the multi's? Where are they at? The placations?

What starts with "E" and ends with "G"?

Everything.

You are my compass; without you, I’m lost.

I thought happiness started with an “H.” Why does my happiness start with “U”?