Short jokes
They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
If she's not ready for an X-rated movie, she's not ready for this X-rated booty.
My respect for you didn't just go through the roof, it touched the fucking sun!
How do you torture an autistic dude? Start a staring contest.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. It was evolution.
Yo mama so poor, the homeless donate to her.
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball? Because they don't know where how is.
What did the dark man say when he found out he had an erectile dysfunction?
"I can't breed! I can't breed! I can't breed!"
R.I.P. Floyd.
Why was 10 scared? Because it was scared of 9/11. And why did I have to take a fall? I have nothing to do with the big II.
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.
What kind of motorcycle do women ride? A menstrual cycle.
What kind of bike do women ride?
A menstrual cycle.
What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.
What’s the difference between toilet paper and a curtain?
So, it was you....
How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
What's a lesbian's favorite candy?
Licorice.
What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.